


Here's Looking At You, Kid

by TheRurrJurr



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Flashbacks, all of the exes in one story, also that random wedding he went to before the tour, and minor Sochi angst, and some Scotland theories too, basically random occurrences, including my theory about that random florida trip, that super-extra awards show video makes an appearance too, what might have been
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-07 17:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16412999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRurrJurr/pseuds/TheRurrJurr
Summary: Quick glances of what could have been (and was never supposed to be).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have not written fic in almost ten years and never, ever for figure skaters so here we go.
> 
> Shoutout to my lovely betas.

**Clearwater, Florida**  
August 2018  
  
Jackie had not, at all, expected a call from her former skating partner. Ever. She figured he had been too busy winning gold and doing whatever (and…whoever…but she’s pretty sure it’s Tessa) that comes along with it, the interviews and the tours and the endorsements and everything.  
  
But Scott had gotten in touch with her through Cara, who she had stayed remote friends with, explaining that he and “T” were putting together a career retrospective documentary that would hopefully air at the end of the year on CBC (or maybe it was CTV?) and would she have time to be interviewed for it next month?  
  
Jackie hadn’t said yes or no at first. It seemed kind of an odd request (a full documentary? Most people just do an interview with someone on ESPN or whatever and put up a post on Instagram and Twitter when they retire, but those two had never done anything the easy way) and she wasn’t really sure what she’d say. “Oh hey, I used to be Scott Moir’s partner and now I’m not?”  
  
But after some prodding, she had pulled up her Google calendar, desperately searching for vacation time to come up to Ontario, maybe working in a family trip, but it was kind of last-minute and with her big trip to Hawaii with her boyfriend and another couple coming up she wasn’t sure if she could make a trip up there work, how about a Skype interview?  
  
Scott he assured her that he would come to her. “We have some time that first week of September so I’ll take a day and come down there with a crew,” he offered. “It’ll take two hours, tops. We really want you to be a part of this.”  
  
_We._ Of course. Jackie had heard through the Ilderton grapevine (really, just her mother and sister) that they had maybe finally gotten their act together, but it was usually followed by a shrug and a “who knows with them, though.”  
  
Telling friends and coworkers during the Olympics that she was Scott Moir’s first partner had bought her some social currency for a few weeks. The first comment was typically along the lines of “Have you seen how he looks at her? Holy shit, he is SOOOOOOO hot.” The next question was usually “But wait, are they dating? They definitely are, right? There’s no way they’re not,” and she could honestly reply that she wasn’t sure (but really…she had been pretty sure for a while, and she was pretty sure that it wasn’t “dating”).  
  
The following question was usually “Wait, you could have gone to the Olympics?? Don’t you regret it?? You could have totally been his partner! You could have a gold medal!”  
  
She would gently laugh and say no, but it looks like everything worked out the way it should (even if she had been wondering about it a little more than usual lately). What most people were unaware of was that she (and everyone else around them at the time) knew that he was only going to ever have one partner.  
  
_Komoka, Ontario_ __  
_September 1997_ __  
__  
_Scott Moir is, without question, a boy. He is ten, and almost shorter than her at this point, and louder than her, and goofs off a LOT at the rink. All he talks about is hockey and the Leafs and his brothers and going to the Olympics. And she is twelve, practically a teenager, and closer in age to Charlie and Cara anyway. She’s getting really good at softball and might get to play in high school and she won’t be figure skating in high school, and she’s old enough to make her own decisions and she doesn’t want to skate with Scott anymore._ __  
__  
_That’s what she tells her mother at breakfast one day before school. Her mom nods understandingly and says “We’ll tell Miss Carol this weekend then.”_ __  
__  
_“Can’t we just call her?” Jackie whines over her scrambled eggs._ __  
__  
_“No, you should tell her in person. To be polite. You’re going to see her and Scott again and it would be a nice thing to do so you can clear the air,” her mother tells her._ __  
__  
_“Fine, whatever,” Jackie mumbles._ __  
__  
_“I’ll take you and Cara to the mall in London afterwards, okay?” Jackie rolls her eyes and nods._ __  
__  
_The following Saturday morning, they arrive at the Ilderton Skating Club for Jackie’s morning lesson with Scott and he’s already furiously racing down the center of the rink, skating as close as he can to the other girls and making them squeal as he kicks up the ice. Ugh. Such a boy. She and her mom walk over to Miss Carol to break the news. She’s helping a young girl, maybe seven or eight - who’s wearing the biggest mittens Jackie’s ever seen - lace up her skates. When Jackie and her mother walk over, Miss Carol gently pats the girl on the back._ __  
__  
_“Tessa, honey, hang on, I’ll be right back,” Miss Carol says to the girl. “Go ahead and warm up with what I showed you last week, okay?” The girl nods and takes off._ __  
__  
_Jackie tells Miss Carol what she told her mother, leaving out some of the meaner things about Scott. Miss Carol nods (but looks a little disappointed) and calls Scott over from his place in the middle of the ice, where he’s currently zig-zagging around cones that Danny set up. Scott pushes off towards them and stops just short of the boards. “Jackie wants to tell you something,” Miss Carol says._ __  
__  
_Jackie sighs, puts a strand of hair behind her ear and breaks the news gently to him, because even though he’s young and immature he’s actually one of the nice boys around and he’s Cara’s cousin and a lot of her friends are his friends and she doesn’t want it to be weird or whatever. Scott, to her surprise, seems relieved. “So I can quit figure skating now and only do hockey??” he asks excitedly._ __  
__  
_Miss Carol sighs. “No, we’ll need to find you a new partner. Soon, probably.”_ __  
__  
_“Ughhhhhhhhhh.” He groans and rolls his eyes._ __  
__  
_“Remember, this helps your hockey,” Miss Carol gently scolded._ __  
__  
_“Whatever,” he mumbles. “I guess it was fun skating with you, Jackie. See you around.” He takes off another section of the boards, where his brothers and some of the guys from the hockey team are talking. Charlie quickly puts him in a headlock and gives him a gentle nougie. “Quit driving the girls away, Scotty,” she hears Charlie tease._ __  
__  
_Jackie’s mother and Miss Carol are making small talk and she just wants to leave and go to the mall because this is BORING and she’s officially not a skater anymore, when her eyes wander over to Scott. He’s worked himself out of the headlock and is leaning against the boards a little bit away from the group. Instead of talking to them like he should be he’s watching the girl - Tessa? - that Miss Carol was talking to as she take laps around the edge. She’s fast, almost as fast as him, and Scott’s eyes don’t leave her as she moves to the center of the ice to work on some spins. It’s like he’s possessed or something. Jackie’s never seen Scott (or ANYONE) look at someone the way he’s looking at this girl right now._ __  
__  
_Tessa (?) stops mid-spin and meets Scott’s gaze, and Jackie’s never seen someone look at someone else that way either. Maybe Claire Danes looking at Leo in “Romeo & Juliet” (which she definitely was not supposed to see, but her cousins brought it to a sleepover and agreed to never tell their parents, and Leo is SUPER hot so of course anyone would look at him like that). Jackie suddenly feels like she shouldn’t be watching this, and she’s never felt like that about anything ever. It’s like the earth stopped turning and they’re the only people on it. It’s…weird._ __  
__  
_The girl - Tessa, it’s definitely Tessa - shyly looks down and smiles, and Scott’s face turns bright red. He quickly looks away and digs at the ice with his toe pick. Oh yeah. Scott Moir DEFINITELY has a crush. And from the way the girl is looking at him now, she does too._ __  
__  
_Charlie pulls Scott into his shoulder again, causing Scott to yelp out a “Hey!” The moment’s over and Tessa resumes her laps. Jackie’s attention snaps back to the conversation between her mother and Miss Carol. “Well, we’ll miss you, Jackie,” Miss Carol tells her. “I’m just not sure we’ll be able to find Scott another partner.”_ __  
__  
_***_ __  
__  
_A few months later, Jackie’s back at the rink for a birthday party and finds Scott pouting, sitting with his back against the boards. “Hey Scotty,” she calls as she skates over to him._ __  
_  
___He frowns even further. “Don’t call me that.”

 __  
_“Okay, fine. Hey, Scott,” she says and plops down next to him. “Why do you look so mad?”_ __  
__  
_He starts tracing patterns along the surface of the ice. “Aunt Carol’s making me skate with other girls.”_ __  
__  
_“Why? Where’s Tessa?” Jackie knew that they had been “partners” for a while now and that they “dated,” which she was pretty sure something that Cara and Tessa’s sister Jordan made them do, and it was kind of cute because everyone knew you weren’t supposed to have a boyfriend until you got to, like, junior high._ __  
__  
_“She got into ballet school in Toronto,” he says. He stops playing with the ice and crosses his arms over his chest. “She might not come back.”_ __  
__  
_Jackie smiles. “Well, ballet school’s a pretty big deal. And I heard that Tessa’s a really good dancer.”_ __  
__  
_“I know,” he says. “But, like…if I can’t skate with Tessa, I don’t want to skate at all. Or, like, I’ll just go play hockey. And Aunt Carol and my mom are still making me skate with other girls and they’re not good and it just feels weird.”_ __  
__  
_“How come?” Jackie asks._ __  
__  
_Scott shrugs. “I don’t know,” he mutters. “They’re just…not Tessa. And it makes me feel weird to not skate with her. We’re partners and…” he stops. “I know she wants to stay at ballet school and she’s really good so I’ll be happy for her if she decides to stay but I just…don’t want to skate if she’s not here.”_ __  
__  
_Jackie raises an eyebrow. “You’re pretty smart for a kid.”_ __  
__  
_“I’m only two years younger than you,” he mumbles._ __  
__  
_“Still, though,” Jackie says. “Most kids your age wouldn’t care so much about their friends being happy.”_ __  
__  
_Scott blushes. “Yeah. I guess. But…I don’t know.” Now he’s picking at a loose thread on his shirt. “She’s my friend but she’s…like…more than my friend.” He stops. “But DEFINITELY not my girlfriend.”_ __  
__  
_“Whatever you say,” Jackie says. “I’m gonna go skate with my friends now, okay? Try to not be so sad.”_ __  
__  
_Scott nodded. “Bye.”_ __  
__  
_Three weeks later she’s at the rink again, this time with Cara, and she hears a giant laugh ring out across the room. She looks for the source of the sound and it’s Tessa and Scott, holding hands and skating around the ice for their warmups. Tessa’s doubled over laughing at something Scott has said and Scott is grinning at her approval. Cara says something about how Tessa picked skating over ballet, which Cara doesn’t understand for whatever reason, but at least Scott stopped whining. “But whatever, they’re weird,” Cara mutters._ __  
__  
_Jackie shrugs. He looks happy, again, and Tessa’s looking at him the same way she did that day that Jackie came here to quit._ __  
__  
_Scott Moir never has another partner again._  
  
**Clearwater, Florida**  
September 5, 2018  
  
He shows up at her hospital just before her lunch hour with a boom mic guy, a camera man and a healthy tan. He greets her with a tight hug and an enthusiastic “Canada misses you!” He’s definitely not a boy anymore, although from what she’s seen on the Internet that’s a recent development (given that he still looked like he was about 15 at the Vancouver Olympics, and that wasn’t even that long ago).  
  
“This Florida heat is awful,” he bemoans. “Don’t you miss winters?”  
  
Jackie laughs. “Not at all. I haven’t worn a parka in years. Not outside of traveling, at least.”  
  
“I couldn’t do it,” Scott says. “Nothing beats Canadian summers. We’ve been at the lake off and on for the last month and a half and it’s been the best.”  
  
They make small talk about life events - “I didn’t want to miss that Ilderton party, but it seemed a little far to go for just a country concert,” she teases - as well as their recent travels, and she tells him about the travel Instagram page she’s made. “Not to be, like, an influencer or travel blogger or whatever, but just as a fun side thing.”  
  
“Right, you said you’re going to Hawaii?” he says.  
  
She laughs. “You have a steel-trap mind, Moir.”  
  
He shrugs. “It doesn’t take too much to remember things that people appreciate.”  
  
They’ve fallen into an easy banter and she remembers why everyone in Canada - and now the world - has crushed on him since Pyeongchang. “How about you? You probably went everywhere this year.”  
  
“Oh my God,” he starts and grins. “All over Canada, back to Korea for some shows, Japan, Belgium,” his face lights up when he mentions that particular trip, “back to Japan after that, it’s been crazy. We actually just got back from France and - ” He stops abruptly, like he’s said something he probably shouldn’t, and the mood suddenly shifts. “It’s been a crazy year. Eventually we’ll stay in one place,” he offers as a closing statement. He reaches up to rub his neck. “Can we take over your break room for this?”  
  
It’s a fun interview and they reminisce about old times and eventually it’s not an interview, just a chat between friends. “Elephant in the hospital room question,” he says towards the end and she laughs. “Do you ever regret not sticking with it?”  
  
Jackie shrugs. “I mean…maybe once every four years,” she says. “But honestly, my life is way easier now than it would have been. And I just wasn’t that good.” She pauses. “Maybe I miss what could have been with the endorsement money, but we wouldn’t have won if it had been me instead of Tessa. And you wouldn’t be you, so…”  
  
Something unrecognizable and vulnerable flashes across Scott’s face as the words leave her mouth.  
  
The crew packs up afterwards and she has a quick request for Scott before he leaves.  
  
“My coworker has a massive crush on you,” Jackie offers as they walk down the hallway to her locker.  
  
Scott’s eyes briefly widen and he nervously chuckles. “I appreciate it but…I’m not looking.” He glances down at his hands and Jackie notices that he’s more fidgety than usual, and playing with his left ring finger more than any (supposedly) single person should. It means nothing, she thinks. Probably.  
  
She laughs and gives him a gentle nudge. “Don’t worry. HIS name is Dom.”  
  
His shoulders relax. “I’m happy to chat with him. Maybe take a picture or two.”  
  
“Oh my God, he is going to die.” They laugh and there’s a beat. “By the way, I’m pretty sure everyone in the world knows you’re not looking,” Jackie teases.  
  
Scott blushes furiously and the fidgeting is back. “It’s…yeah,” he offers by way of an explanation. She’s amazed that he’s both changed and stayed the same for so long. He’s still boisterous, extroverted, a great conversationalist, well-spoken and everyone’s best friend. Until you bring up the most important person in his life - who’s ALWAYS been the most important person in his life - and he suddenly loses the ability to speak, whether it’s from protectiveness or being afraid to reveal too much or simply not having the words to describe…whatever it is that’s always been there.  
  
Jackie leans in a little bit closer. “It looks good on you.”  
  
Scott nods and looks down at his hands. “We’re just…there’s just not a good time for us to, you know, tell everyone. With the tour coming up and there’s still a lot of attention…it’s a bit much.”  
  
“Who says you have to?” she says with a shrug.  
  
Scott scoffs and gives her a classic side-eye. “The Internet. The world. Our touring cast. Ellen. Paul Brandt. Take your pick.”  
  
Jackie nods and tries as best she can to seem understanding. But the truth is, she can’t relate. She’s thankfully been able to stay anonymous her entire life and even if “I skated with Scott Moir” is a good party story, it’s never defined her life. And when her last relationship ended and she moved onto a new one, she didn’t feel the crushing weight of the world staring at her the way that they have on some level for the past decade.  
  
It’s an odd feeling and a huge relief to know that no one gives a shit about her the way they do about them. And to be honest, she’s fine with all of it.  
  
He’s gone quiet, fidgeting with his left hand again and she feels the need to break the tension. “When you have kids, will you at least name one after me? I’m kind of the reason this all happened.”  
  
Scott lets out a hearty laugh. “I’ll run it by T, but we should be able to work something out.”  
  
They reach her break room (and he takes a picture with Dom, who is swooning and freaking out and gains Scott’s permission to post it on his Instagram story) and he gives her a huge parting hug.  
  
“I’ll send you an advance copy,” he promises.  
  
“And I can’t wait to meet my namesake one day,” Jackie teases back.  
  
Scott and the crew head out of the hospital and Jackie returns to her seat in the break room. “Oh my GOD,” Dom says by way of a greeting, dramatically entering the room. “He’s…like…I mean…HOW did you avoid jumping him when you were kids??”  
  
Jackie scrunches up her nose and pulls out her phone to quickly scroll through her Instagram feed. “Exactly, we were kids. He’s been like my little brother for years.” She finds Dom’s story and laughs. “It’s up already?”  
  
“DUH. I want everyone to see it.” Dom sits next to her and leans forward. “Just…oh my God. But seriously, you could have been the one filming a documentary with him. Isn’t that crazy??”  
  
Jackie’s mostly ignoring him in favor of her phone and lands on a picture Tessa recently posted (she’s been suspiciously quiet on her feed these last few days, which is very unlike her). It’s a picture of her doing heart hands in France, leaning against a doorway and looking out onto the sunrise. “Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful,” the caption reads.  
  
“Jackie, helloooooooo,” Dom says and breaks her out of her thoughts.  
  
“What? No, never. I don’t want that,” Jackie insists.  
  
An RN pokes her head in. “Dom, guy needs sutures in bay 3. Something about bush clippers.”  
  
Dom rolls his eyes and turns to Jackie. “Yes, you do.” He stands up and heads out of the room.  
  
Jackie turns her attention back to Tessa’s feed. She’s never really paid attention to it (other than the very couple-y pictures she’s posted of her and Scott together in the recent years) so she takes a moment and quickly scrolls through. It’s aesthetically pleasing enough, full of vacation photos (half of which Scott probably took) and inspirational quotes on pretty backdrops, but something’s missing. It’s guarded, curated and…dry.  
  
__Tessa’s missing. Jackie would never have guessed that the girl with the big mittens and the bigger laugh, who Scott had worshipped since they were all too young to understand what any of it meant, was the person behind the account. Was holding back on sharing yourself the price to pay for some gold medals and name recognition?  
  
Not worth it, she thinks. She’d rather have the bush clipper suture patient in bay 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Share your Florida theories in the comments (I know we all have them).


	2. Chapter 2

**Lucan, Ontario**  
**September 8, 2018**

The last place Cassandra ever thought she’d see Tessa Virtue was at a hometown wedding. And NEVER with Scott Moir on her arm.

She didn’t even see him (them!) come into the ceremony earlier; they must have snuck in the back. Everyone’s at the reception now, dinner is done and the music’s just started after the first dance. Her ex-boyfriend and his skating partner…ex-skating partner…current life partner…whatever…are chatting with some beer league teammates of his and their wives and this is all new to Cassandra. Tessa seems especially happy. She’s smiling, saying hello to people Cassandra doesn’t even know she knew, holding onto Scott’s hand and acting like she’s running for elected office or something with how friendly she’s being. Whatever.

She’s trying not to stare, but she and Zac are standing at the edge of the dance floor directly facing Scott and Tessa’s backs and she can’t look away. “Let’s go get another drink,” Zac offers, grabbing her hand, and she doesn’t even hear him.

At least Scott and Tessa both seem relaxed here, which is different than how they’ve looked in interviews since the Olympics, when they’re on their guard (not that she watches them on YouTube. Not that often, at least. Only while her son is down for a nap and she’s bored and she wants to see how bad they are at lying). They’re obviously comfortable around each other, and Scott’s always been tactile, so she’s not surprised at how touchy-feely he’s acting.

But when Scott snakes his left arm around Tessa’s waist, Cassandra almost drops her wine glass.

(No. No WAY. She's hallucinating. She has to be.)

“Cass?” She must have the biggest bug eyes in the world because her husband’s tone of voice is that of a man who is completely confused.

She collects herself and pulls him around so that they’re facing away from the scene in front of them. She leans in to whisper to him. “Check Scott’s left hand and tell me if you see what I see.”

Zac gives her a side-eye and turns around. “Oh my God, don’t be obvious about it,” she hisses.

“Well, what the hell am I looking at??” Zac’s annoyed.

Cassandra leans back in and subtly taps her ring. Zac smirks and shakes his head. “Nahhhhh.” She gives him a look. “Really?” But he tries to be as sly as he can in turning around. Cassandra sneaks a look over her shoulder. They’re still chatting away and Scott’s left hand has migrated to Tessa’s lower back, gently stroking up and down before landing on her left hip.

Yep, there is definitely a small silver band sitting on his left ring finger. And given how he’s behaving with his skating partner right now, she’s assuming that Tessa has a matching one too.

Zac turns around back to her, eyes wide. “Whoa.”

“I know!!” she says under her breath.

(What the hell. How?? When?? This hasn’t gotten out yet??)

If it’s what she thinks it is, she’s happy for them. She really is. But mostly she’s relieved.

**_Ilderton, Ontario_ **  
**_October 2013_ **

_It's mostly a long-distance relationship, but Scott's at least a sweet boyfriend when he wants to be, Skyping and calling regularly while he's at competitions and spending time with her on the rare occasions when he's actually home. She can deal with the...whatever...it is between him and Tessa, she tells herself. And Tessa has an on-and-off boyfriend anyway (who Scott despises, but she's pretty sure that Scott would despise anyone that Tessa thinks about dating)._

_(she’s pretty sure now that the only reason she could deal with it was because it was long-distance, and therefore seemed less real. It would never have lasted beyond a few weeks if they had to see each other every day.)_

_It starts to run its course sometime around the start of that season but they hang on because it’s at least easy and gives him something to do when he comes home on the weekends that doesn’t involve thinking about skating. He’s stressed about their scores, there’s awkwardness between him and Tessa for some reason (and she'd rather not know the cause of that), their coach is acting disinterested in them, and he tells Cassandra that the programs aren't any good this year. Then he says that the W Network wants to do a reality show about him and Tessa and the producers want her involved. She relents because this might help her career in the long run, like she could pretend to be Lauren Conrad or something, and it might be fun._

_Which is why she’s sitting here in a field watching her boyfriend skeet shoot while a camera crew films a very scripted scene about how he’s such a country simpleton. And that’s stupid, since she’s dating him because he’s NOT a country simpleton._

_Also, it turns out that it’s not fun watching your boyfriend get weirdly possessive over his partner while you’re sitting right there._

_It ends before Sochi (about a month earlier around Nationals, honestly) but she's already booked her flights and hotel and cancellation fees are going to be more expensive than just going, so she decides to go anyway. She figures the group from Canada is big enough and he'll be slammed with training so it's not like he'd notice her there anyway, and she'll know some people at least. They avoid each other for the most part and it's actually not going too badly until one of the last nights there._

_She's at Canada House and chatting with some bobsledders as Icona Pop’s “I Love It” blares throughout the room when sees him huddled up in a corner against a girl in a toque. Cassandra can't make out her face, but her build and height is similar to Tessa. She rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to her group. It's not like she's not surprised, but it seems a little soon. And right in front of everyone? Please._

_"Cassandra?"_

_She whips around at the startled voice behind her. "Tessa - what - " She glances over at Scott, who's pulled back enough from the girl so that Cassandra can sort of make out her features (blonde hair pokes out from under that toque and she looks vaguely familiar. Definitely an athlete but definitely not Tessa, who is holding a half-finished beer and standing beside her watching the same scene unfold)._

_Tessa seems to be a few drinks in, but musters up a smile. "I didn't know you were still coming."_

_Cassandra nodded. "I mean, why not."_

_"Right." Cassandra's watching Tessa watch her partner lean up against the girl, his leg positioned directly on her crotch, spreading her legs apart. Tessa's expression is blank as she sips (gulps) her drink. Cassandra wants to tell her to just look away, it's probably just a hookup and he's being dumb and drunk, but she's not sure that's the best advice or most sympathetic coming from her of all people. It's not like they're friends. She's not even sure they could be called friendly._

_Cassandra turns to her, unsure of where this conversation should go. "I'm sorry about the silver," she offers._

_Tessa smiles sadly. "Thanks. I mean...it's whatever," she says and sips her beer. "Marina isn't shit." Another sip. "I wish Scott had listened to me about that."_

_Cassandra shrugged. "He's stubborn when he wants to be."_

_"Tell me about it," Tessa replies with a laugh. She glances over to Scott and his new friend, who's now become his makeout partner in full view of everyone. "I'm kind of surprised you're here, honestly."_

_"I mean...it was all paid for. At least it's a vacation," Cassandra reasons._

_Tessa rolls her eyes. "I didn't know that watching your ex-boyfriend lose then make out with a stranger in Russia is considered a vacation," she replies. Oh yeah, she's definitely a few drinks in._

_"Not really," Cassandra answers. "I guess you're right about that.”_

_Tessa shakes her head. “That was kind of mean, sorry.”_

_“No, no, it’s fine,” Cassandra assures her. “None of this is probably fun for you either.”_

_Tessa scoffs and pauses. “I just…like…I don’t know. I guess I just want to go home.” She’s looking down at her drink, which is just about done, and Cassandra actually feels bad for her. Tessa glances back at Scott and the girl and takes a deep breath to steady herself. "I'm going to go get another," she says over the din of the music, gesturing to her almost-empty plastic cup. "Want anything?"_

_Cassandra shakes her head. Tessa chugs the last of her beer and heads over to the bar. Scott and the girl are walking (stumbling) out of Canada House now, arms drunkenly around each other. She glances at Tessa, now slumped over a stool and deep in what looks like a distressed conversation with Patrick Chan. He gestures for them to go and tries to help her up as she stumbles backwards. He steadies her with his arm and leads her out the door._

_Cassandra looks around for her bobsledder friends, who have dispersed somewhere into the crowd. Right now this is all just depressing as hell, she's just as confused as Tessa is about why she's here and she just wants to leave._

_That blonde girl shows up in Ilderton a month later, and stays for a while. A few weeks after that, Tessa goes back to that boyfriend Scott hates. Cassandra doesn't see any of them until after Pyeongchang._

The 2018 version of this scene looks very different. “I Want You Back” is playing over the sound system, everyone’s having a good time, Tessa’s pulling Scott onto the dance floor and honestly, they're just sort of blending in with everyone else at this wedding. They seem...lighter. More free. Like they could be any couple at any wedding, were it not for the three gold medals.

Cassandra stands back and observes quietly, Zac having given up and now chatting with a friend of hers. Tessa and Scott are obviously better than everyone else on the dance floor right now, but they’re not being showy. They’re not dancing for an audience or for judges or for coaches. It’s a moment for them, Cassandra realizes, and that’s probably why they seem so…at ease right now. It’s actually nice to see.

After the song ends, Tessa whispers something to Scott and squeezes his arm before heading towards the restrooms. Cassandra really, probably shouldn’t follow her but does anyway. “Be right back,” she whispers to Zac. He cocks an eyebrow. “It’s fine,” she insists.

“Don’t be a weird stalker,” he mutters.

Cassandra kisses his cheek. “Just some girl talk in the bathroom, I promise.” She doesn’t even have to use the restroom but her curiosity is killing her and she has to know. She waits a few seconds until Tessa’s inside, then sneaks over, quietly enters and grabs the stall next to her.

She waits until Tessa comes out of her stall before Cassandra leaves her own. Tessa’s bent over the sink washing her hands when Cassandra takes the sink to the left of hers (really, it’s a small bathroom so it’s not like she has much of a choice anyway, and so what if she wants to get a better look at Tessa’s left hand and make sure she hasn’t lost her mind).

It’s a tiny, simple sliver of metal, maybe a little too big, like she hasn’t had time to get it sized. The rings she’s worn on her middle left finger for years have migrated to her right hand. No diamond that would give it away. Because of course they’re going to play coy for as long as they can.

Tessa glances up. “Hello,” she offers politely as she shuts off the faucet and she looks back down. Cassandra tries to not smirk as Tessa’s eyes get bigger and she looks up again. “Oh, I’m sorry - I didn’t - “ Tessa takes a deep breath, pauses and reaches for a paper towel. “Hi.”

Cassandra smiles both for herself and at the nervous woman across from her. It’s not often that Tessa Virtue (Virtue-Moir? Moir?) is visibly flustered. “It’s good to see you.”

Tessa nods. “Likewise.” She’s wringing the paper towel with her hands and seems one twist away from ripping it in half.

Cassandra pauses for a moment. Maybe it’s the wine talking or the knowledge that she probably won’t see Tessa for another few years at least, but she decides to go for it. “Congratulations, by the way.”

She can see the moment that the media version of Tessa is booted up. “Thanks,” Tessa replies. She casually tosses the paper towel away and turns back to face Cassandra. “It’s been such a crazy year with the Olympics and now the tour coming up…what a way to top it off.”

“Oh, that’s…ummm..that’s not what I meant,” Cassandra says softly and gestures to Tessa’s left hand.

Tessa’s look drops slightly as the color drains from her face. “What…oh.” She nervously twists the band on her finger. “Yeah.”

“I think it’s great,” Cassandra offers. “I really do.”

Tessa briefly makes eye contact and smiles. “Thanks.” She answers so softly she’s almost silent as she looks back down at her hands and fiddles with her ring. “Do other people…ummm…have they…has anyone else here been talking about it?”

Cassandra shrugs. “I’m not sure, honestly. Not that I’ve heard.” Tessa’s posture relaxes and she exhales. “And you know that no one here would tell anyone at, like, TMZ or anything, anyway.”

“I know,” Tessa says quickly and nods again. “It’s just…it’s a big thing. And we’re kind of not telling anyone right now because of…everything…so…” she trails off. “Sorry I’m, like, dropping all of this on you.”

“No, it’s fine,” Cassandra assures her. “I mean, we kind of all knew it was just a matter of time.”

Tessa scoffs. “Fair. I don’t think anyone believed us when we said “no” after the Games.”

“You know, I just had one too so I kind of understand,” Cassandra says, and for a minute they realize they have a shared bond that doesn’t directly involve Cassandra’s ex-boyfriend and Tessa’s now-husband (oh my God, Scott is Tessa’s husband now, and that truth stirs up something oddly…jealous? in her). It’s comforting and familiar yet entirely foreign because this is the last person Cassandra ever expected to be talking to about this. “Can I ask when?”

“Yeah, of course.” Tessa seems to brighten up. “Just last Friday. It was…well, it wasn’t really last-minute, but it was fast. It came together pretty quickly.” She seems eager to change the subject. “Yours was pretty recent too, right?”

(Tessa knows when she got married? What the hell?) “Yeah, just a little under two months ago.” Talking to Tessa Virtue (or whatever the hell her last name is now) about their respective weddings was not how she planned to spend her Saturday night, but here they were. “Was yours big?”

“No, definitely not,” Tessa replies. “Just our moms and his dad and our siblings. We wanted to do something quiet and private just for us before the tour starts and life gets crazy again. We’re not even taking a honeymoon yet. We’ll do something bigger next year once things die down.” She pauses and scoffs. “If things ever die down,” she mutters.

And this is the part that Cassandra can’t possibly know anything about, because other than a brief moment in time where she was “Scott Moir’s (long-suffering, naive, clueless, oh-come-on-he’s-in-love-with-Tessa, why-would-she-get-herself-in-the-middle-of-that) girlfriend” she’s been afforded the anonymity they’ve sacrificed for their dream.

In another reality maybe this would have been their wedding weekend, and they’d be just another random couple from the London area who happened to be getting married on a random late summer weekend like plenty of other random couples from the London area doing the same thing, and they’d go live in their random London area house and live an anonymous life, and Cassandra remembers now why she hasn't been jealous of them the last few years.

“It will. It has to eventually, I guess,” she offers weakly as a means of comfort or reassurance or empathy or something.

“Right,” Tessa says, sounding unconvinced. She pauses and shakes her head. “I’m sorry, like I said I’m really not even sure why I’m telling you all this.”

Cassandra shrugs because honestly, she’s also not sure why Tessa’s unloading on her other than she's here, their lives briefly overlapped and she gets the feeling Tessa hasn’t had much of an opportunity lately to just have someone listen without offering an opinion. “I guess sometimes it helps to have a new audience.”

Tessa’s mouth twists. “I guess.” She pauses. “Um,” she seems to be searching for her words. “I know that…that whole show and everything…you kind of got the…” she stops again and meets Cassandra’s eyes. “It was kind of unfair to you, and I’m not sure anyone ever apologized for that.”

“Don’t,” Cassandra assures her and chuckles. “It’s fine. No one came out of that looking good.”

“Oh my God, that is SO true,” Tessa admits and genuinely laughs. “I have no idea why we agreed to it.”

“Didn’t they tell you it was going to be a documentary?” Cassandra says.

“Right, but still! We should have run as far away as possible,” Tessa laughs (and okay, maybe there are a few things that bond them, but they’re never going to be actual friends). “From…so much that year, honestly.”

“I mean…it seems like it all worked out,” Cassandra reasons with a shrug.

Tessa finally lets a genuine smile out. “Yeah, it did.” She takes a deep breath and collects herself. “Scott’s going to think I’ve ditched him,” she says and gestures to the door, offering the most polite way to end the conversation.

They both leave the bathroom, heading back to the party. They reach the reception tent entrance and Tessa turns to face her. “It was…actually really nice talking to you.”

Cassandra nodded. “Yeah, it was.” She looks over at Scott, chatting with a beer league teammate of his about fifteen feet away. He stops when he sees her and Tessa coming closer and his expression suddenly looks like he's seen a ghost. “Good luck explaining this to him.”

“Oh, I won’t be,” she says with a conspiratorial smile and wink. “Enjoy your night.”

“You too.” They part company and Tessa rejoins her husband (saying THAT is going to take some getting used to), who looks totally perplexed, and Cassandra heads over to Zac, now sitting back at their table and playing with his phone. “Did you fall in?” he asks and raises an eyebrow.

She places a kiss on his forehead. “I told you, just girl talk in the bathroom.” The DJ cues up “Shut Up And Dance” and she grabs his hand and helps him up towards the dance floor. “Everyone else is dancing, come on.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she catches Scott twirling Tessa, who’s wearing a grin that lights up her entire face. Their foreheads touch at “deep in her eyes, I think a see a future” and a look passes between them that Cassandra’s never seen from him and will probably never understand. She turns to her own husband, who grabs her hand and dips her. Everything seems at peace.

But she still wishes she hadn’t done that stupid reality show.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RurrJurr, putting the "fiction" in "fan fiction" since 2018
> 
> Also Cassandra, if you're reading, I'm sorry you've been reduced to "I love you." "Bye."


End file.
